(no subject)
teeyahra

They always tell us to dream, and dream big. "The sky's the limit!" "there are endless possibilities", yeah well fuck that. They tell you that, so you fall and crash harder than if you fell 10000 feet from an airplane with a defunct parachute. I think my parents are that defunct parachute. They give me hope, tell me that I could go overseas to study, we'll work together to make it happen blablabla, but just as I take the leap, they go HEY sorry I guess thats not gonna happen anymore. I mean, it's ok if they tell me that from the start so I won't jump from the fcking plane. But I do and I die.

So now I'm stuck in Singapore. And I dont know if I should apply for art or communications. My heart says art (hah!) but the world says don't be stupid, and my mum tells me I'm not gifted for it and that I should be a journalist. So the world is pretty much impossible. I'm praying for a sign. Or for guidance. Or for anything, really.

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tang hoon, rocky road sundaes and Steven Tyler.
teeyahra
(half of) the frenchies finally had our long-awaited sleepover last night! It was kinda short, but the steamboat dinner, american idol marathon, and glee re-runs were all pretty fun, and even though our plan to stay-up-all-night-watching-horrors crashed and burned (cos we were all waaay too exhausted), Nat and I had such a fabulous midnight heart-to-heart girls talk. Its pretty amazing cos we never really shared alot of personal things with each other before, but it felt so easy to spill it all with her, and she now knows that deeeep dark secret that only one other knows about. hahaha.

and its so funny cos not only did she give me amazing advice, she also shed light on why we learnt in h2 math about the whole x tending to infinity blablablabla then the fraction equals to zero. DO YOU REMEMBER THAT. geez, feels like a gazillion lightyears ago when we actually did that. but anyway apparently, i can use that to explain very complex emotions (BET NOBODY FIGURED THAT OUT) so thanks nat, i love you so much!

i discovered quite a few really nice songs today while bumming it out on my bed, and other than the cute FAVOURITE FOODS SONG from Victorious ("what i like about cheese, is that you can put it on veggies, and it tastes, mm mm so good!" hahaha!), i'm just gonna say, these songs are worth a listen (to me anyway) :

1) Song to you by Leon Thomas and Victoria Justice

2) When I get you alone by Robin Thicke 

3) She's not there by The Zombies

 


(no subject)
teeyahra

You know the feeling when you've got this HUGE secret tearing at you & it has the potential to change people's perspective of you if they found out, and you feel like you've got NO ONE to talk to, but then your best friend comes along and listens to EVERYTHING and doesn't judge but supports you 100%? yeah, I love that feeling. (:

thanks for today, Steph. I'm so glad you've got my back. <3

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(no subject)
teeyahra

What I (thought I) love(d) about my job is (was) that I'm always alternating between the primary and secondary schools. When it gets too hectic at the primary school, with the tides of crying, complaining, screaming, whining girls, antiseptic cream and lots and LOTS of plasters, I just look forward to the next day, when I'd be left all alone, for a whole of 9 hours, just me and the computer screen at SACSS.

But experiencing that isolation today made me realise that when it gets so mundane and dull (and desperately lonely!), my mind wanders a lot. And as usual, today, the same fear of receiving real crap A level results overwhelmed me. (Hate this feeling!) See, if I don't do well enough, I can't do communications at NUS or NTU, and my parents can't afford to send me overseas (no matter how badly I've wanted that opportunity, hah) SO WHAT ON BLOODY EARTH AM I SUPPOSED TO DO.

Then I came home, desperate to read something, ANYTHING, after my idle day of data keying, and I opened up 'God's daily promises for women', something my mum gave me last year, and it says 'faith is an attitude that believes events in your life happen under God's direction rather than randomly.. It allows you to be positive about circumstances rather than negative, because you know God will take whatever happens and bring good from it.' That's what it says on the Feb 10th page. So I've learnt that whatever the result, it'll just be a part of God's plan. Is that amazing or what? Okay, I don't mean to sound like an evangelist or something but SERIOUSLY, I am mindf mindblown right now. this couldn't possibly come at a better time(:

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The Mad Hatter: When that day comes, I shall futterwacken... vigorously.
teeyahra
I'm watching Gary Unmarried as I type my first post on the first blog I've had in YEARS,
and goodness knows I was the most frequent blog-hopper blogspot's ever seen. ever.

The reason why i started this blog (and will hopefully do my best to keep it going long-term) is 'cause my godma convinced me a few days ago that i'm more suited to writing than pursuing visual arts in uni, and i thought that this was the smallest and easiest way to ease myself into the habit of writing, SO VOILA, here I am!

Mood at this very moment: very very insecure.
I just saw a twitter post by a friend that A level results may be coming out on the 25th of Feb, like ohemgeeee there should be some kind of warning! Informing people last minute about major news like that can seriously result in sudden heart attacks all over our tiny island, MOE! (just kidding, please don't arrest me)
I'm just keeping my fingers everything crossed that it turns out alright. 
Or if it doesn't, that $100,000 smackeroos falls mysteriously out of the sky and into my hands so that I can leave the land of Kiasus and tissue-chopping aunties for.. 
already-dominated-by-Asians Australia? hahaha

The monday blues are also kicking in a little late cos of another tweet i saw(I should seriously consider leaving twitter with all this negativity it's been bringin' about) and the simultaneous playing of Yesterme, Yesteryou, Yesterday on Gold 90FM. Funny how, out of pure coincidence, music can sometimes reflect your mood. hahaha

But now imma 
Pack up my troubles 
in my old kit bag
and bury them beneath sea
Pack up my troubles
get my old grin back 
dont worry about the calvary!

(Thanks himbo for the song recommendation. i loved it!)
Night cyber sweethearts!





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